Mon Oct. 27th

One thing I have noticed as this struggle with cancer seems to drag on and on .. is that it is difficult .. even for me .. to continue to go to God with the same basic request of healing and restoration over and over and over again .. in this case for years. You want SOME kind of news that demonstrates that God is hearing and acting on our prayers. However, the more I readt he Scriptures and the more I read in church history .. a majorrity of the time God is on His own plan and time about answering, moving on our prayers. And often times .. it is not the answer we have been praying for. Let's face it that can be discouraging.

However, if we look at it from another angle, we see other ways God is at work to grow us up in Christ. First, coming to God again and again keeps our focus on Him .. helps us not to stray and hammers into our minds truths about the character of God that cannot be grasped easily. Second, it fosters a faith that has been tested by fire. This is a very priceless commodity to God .. it is precious to Him. Third, it keeps us humble and manifests the fact that God is God and we are His creation .. His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not ours .. He controls the universe .. not the other way around. Finally, when those answers do come .. whatever they are .. we are more willing to receive them in humility and gratitude .. getting a glimpse of His infinite wisdom.

But, like I say, it can be discouraging .. that is why I am in such awe of you. Many of you having been praying for years .. despite bad news and set backs. AS thing stand now, I would say I am seeing some improvements in the last few days. I am still battling pain but have been able to walk to the bathroom and downstairs. I am still trying to find the right mix of pain and cancer meds but the side effects have been less severe. And it looks like I finally got my computer and equipments set up in such a way that I can work from my bed. I have more consultations with the pain Dr. and the neurosurgeon this week to see about future direction.

We also see the Lord to continue to minister through during this time. Many who from those who have following our struggle .. many who continue to ask for written versions of the program from individuals in and out of the U.S. .. and a request for more information from a girl in South America who just received Christ and wishes to grow in her new relationship with Him.

Thanks again for learning these lessons with me as we try and grow up to become mature in Christ.